Stolen from ! Not nearly as funny though, I'm afraid.
Of course I tried it with RE as well, first Just pick some characters for the numbers first without reading the questions and my answers, it's funnier (and most certainly much sicker) that way. Then go off and write your own stuff for the questions!

1. Albert Wesker
2. Chris Redfield
3. William Birkin
4. Leon Kennedy
5. Jill Valentine
6. Nemesis
7. Hunk
8. Alfred Ashford
9. Excella Gionne
10. Ricardo Irving
11. Rebecca Chambers
12. Billy Cohen


Have you ever read a six (Nemesis)/Eleven (Rebecca) fic? Do you want to?
Uhm. No, not really. And... NOT AT ALL!!

Do you think 4 (Leon) is hot? How hot?
Apparently so hot that thousands of fangirls are nearly wetting their pants over him. Not including me, but I think he's ok.

What would happen if Twelve (Billy) got Eight (Alfred) pregnant?
Oooookaaaaay......

Can you read any fic(s) about Nine (Excella)?
Yep. I think it's interesting to explore her relation to Wesker, and some authors manage to keep her (and him) in character as well as add some minor kickassness.

Would Two (Chris) and Six (Nemesis) be a good couple?
I'd like to refer to my answer for #1... though... they're both into rocket launchers. The possibility for this couple is certainly higher than for Rebecca/Nemesis I guess ^^

Five (Jill)/Nine (Excella) or Five (Jill)/Ten (Irving).
Since we all know what happened to Jill/Irving from Chrystalis's journal, I'll pick Jill/Excella (Also, they would have a much cuter baby, arrr)

What would happen if Seven (Hunk) walked in on Two (Chris) and Twelve (Billy) in bed together?
He would feel like I would. Deeply disturbed. At least that's what I hope cause I don't wanna imagine what happened if he asked if he could participate...

Make up a summary for a Three (William)/Ten (Irving) fic.
Gah. Okay (picks up various psychotropic subtances to be able to make something up)

When Irving discovers his wild, passionate and loving feelings for one of Wesker's asskissing underlings, he doesn't know that William Birkin is supposed to be dead, not surviving the very dramatic incidents in Raccon City years ago. He doesn't know that Wesker has an unhealthy habit of cloning everything that doesn't run away asap either. What dramatic and stupid plot twist will happen when he finds out about his lover's true background? And what does Wesker have to say about all this?!

...

Is there any such thing as One (Wesker)/Eight (Alfred) fluff?
I didn't read any until now and I'm quite thankful for that. But who knows... (shudders) Iirc, I discovered some angsty rape stuff about them, though <__<

Suggest a title for a Seven (Hunk)/Twelve (Billy) hurt/comfort fic.
“Loners no more” (How lame can I be? Well it's answered now)

What kind of plot device would you use if you wanted Four (Leon) to deflower One (Wesker)?
I'm not sure Wesker needs deflowering! Either way, to get both in bed together I suggest ungodly amounts of alcohol and various drugs. Also, a matress of really good quality

Does anyone on your friends list read Seven (Hunk) slash?
On my friends list? I seriously doubt it. Dunno about other folks, though ^^

Does anyone on your friends list read Three (William) slash?
Not on my friends list... but oh boy does this have a huge community of readers and writers.

Does anyone on your friends list write or draw Eleven (Rebecca)?
I have no idea. Not that I'm aware of it, that is.

Would anyone on your friends list write Two (Chris)/Four (Leon)/Five (Jill)?
See above... I wonder how people would build it up though

What might Ten (Irving) scream at a moment of great passion?
“Fiiiiiyaaaaaahwooooooorks!”

If you wrote a song-fic about Eight (Alfred), which song would you choose?
I feel prettyyyyyyy.... oh so prettyyyyyyyyyy...

If you wrote a One (Wesker)/Six (Nemesis)/Twelve (Billy) fic, what would the warnings be?
They'd be non-existent, just like this particular fic!! But oh well, just for the sake of it: Violence, human/non-human, slash, rocket launcher rape

What might be a good pick-up line for Two (Chris) to use on Ten (Irving)?
“Oh hai there. Nice tentacles you got there, mah sexy mutated boi.” Shoot me now.

When was the last time you read a fic about Five (Jill)?
Not too long ago. Dunno exactly anymore, though.

What is Six's (Nemesis) super-secret kink?
Something unexpected, dunno, sex while his partner wears cowboy boots

Would Eleven (Rebecca) get in bed with Nine (Excella)? Drunk or sober?
Drunk as fuck.

If Three (William) and Seven (Hunk) get together, who tops?
Hunk of course

Fill in the numbers of this sentence with the names:
"1. (Wesker) and 9. (Excella) are in a happy relationship until 9. (Excella) suddenly runs off with 4. (Leon). 1. (Wesker), broken-hearted, has a hot one-night stand with 11. (Rebecca) and a brief unhappy affair with 12. (Billy), then follows the wise advice of 5. (Jill) and finds true love with 3. (William)."

...oooookay. I don't have any doubts that an affair between Wesker and Billy would be unhappy ... but, oh god. At least the Wesker/Birkin stuff would please some people out there...

What title would you give this fic?
"Resident Evil, 90210” (Again, lame. Sorry)

Name three people on your friends list who might read it.
I really don't know

Name one person who should write it.
No one should write this crap, at least not in a serious way... but I'd read it if one of the great RE parody writers would give it a go I guess

How would you feel if Seven (Hunk)/ Eight (Alfred) was canon?
Deeply disturbed and slightly amused.